Dr. Reverend Heather Dawn Clark gave an extremely poignant and heart-thought provoking talk at The Center For Spiritual Living, Capistrano Valley (CSLCV) this past Sunday. Her word reflected the Truth of Love…that essential element of the Unconditional defining what, indeed, True Love is…as well as the absolute element of forgiveness within any relationship called a “Love Relationship”…(romantic & intimate or otherwise).
Keeping love alive, when so much of the outside world threatens to overwhelm it, quickly becomes one of the most difficult challenges we will ever face in our relationships.
You might be thinking, “How in the world can that be? If you’re really in love with each other, keeping love alive between you shouldn’t be a hard thing to do at all.”
I wish I could say this is true, but unfortunately – at least in terms of the
number of years I have spent…both personally, as well as professionally, perceiving romantic relationships in my life and Counseling Psychotherapy…now Empowerment Coaching practice… falling in love is relatively easy. And…Keeping love alive is,
realistically, one of the most difficult things we will ever do.
Consider for a moment those beautiful, wondrous first days of being “in love.” Everything about the experience seems practically perfect.
You find yourselves meshing in ways you never thought possible. Your hopes and dreams seem so compatible… it’s as if you were born to be together. You feel such ecstasy and find such completeness in that loving, passionate embrace, you’re convinced you have finally found The One. Trust and believe…I know!
But will that “in love”feeling last?
Sadly, the answer is no …not unless we are willing to put a tremendous amount of time and energy into it.
Remember…Being “in Love” is that magical first step involved in Truly loving. It’s… basically, an overwhelming desire between two people to simply be together and share pleasurable life experiences.
But love – Real Love– changes and grows as we ourselves do all the time. Every single day… that love requires tending and nurturing, and only with time does it become strong and resilient.
This is the love that develops into a bond between two people and has the power to carry them into the future together, at times, surviving what may seem to be nearly insurmountable odds.
When we are in love, what we feel is often characterized as if it were a young, innocent child. That “in love-ness”needs a tremendous amount of protection and guidance as it matures and moves toward the future.
Without that protection and guidance, this “child” – this love -simply
flounders, having no idea where it should go.
In reality, far too many of us are so “in love” with the love we feel for each other in the present that we rarely, if ever, stop to consider the hardships we may inevitably face as couples in the future.
For instance, financial problems. The stress of raising children. Then there are conflicts with relatives, career changes, illness or addiction issues. Not to mention…but, I will… outside temptations.
What we fail to realize is that the experience of falling “in love” is only a first step toward truly loving. That’s right…YOU heard me!
It’s what comes after, in the form of hardships and challenges the future brings… and how we successfully overcome them, that
actually gives depth and substance to the love we feel.
Unfortunately, many are so in love with “being in love” that we never give ourSelves the chance to advance beyond that first step.
Take a good, hard look at the divorce rate among us these days.
More than 50 plus percent of all marriages today end in divorce.
Why? Simply because couples can’t keep their love alive.
One thing or another manages somehow to draw these couples apart.
Too many problems are often cited. Or there is simply too much boredom poisoning the relationship.
Sometimes even too much personal growth on the part of one spouse …and not enough on the part of the other can be that pesky culprit.
And yet, I can’t imagine that a single person in this world ever marries
expecting at some future time to get divorced. However, now reflecting on that statement…I could BE wrong!
Divorce is perceived in the Divine as an unnatural breakdown in the process of loving. Essentially…It means one, or both, partners involved has somehow allowed him/herself to lose focus in the relationship: they’ve lost faith, and they’re essentially looking beyond the commitment in that relationship in order to achieve personal
happiness for themselves. Of this…I AM certain…I AM!
On the Divinelevel, commitment is perceived as a Conscious (Christ Consciousness) Agreement between partners to be together. But the bond that exists between them is something that runs far deeper.
When two people are not truly “bonded” to each other, which takes a considerable amount of time and effort by both
partners to achieve, it doesn’t matter how “committed” they may outwardly profess to be.
Frankly speaking, their relationship is essentially doomed practically from its beginning. Without that strong, solid emotional bond between them, keeping love alivewill be literally quite challenging…perhaps, impossible…and that’s coming from a person who, literally awakens each and every Glorious day, thanking GOD for all the great news and miracles she is going to receive in every area of her Life!
So…How do we achieve such a bond…those of us who desire to BE Coupled…to share all that we have been so Divinely blessed with in the experience and expression of a Divine Right intimate, loving, and committed Life Partnership… Marriage?
We start by waking up every morning and seeing our relationships as genuinely living… growing things… and we care for them accordingly.
We realize that being “in love”is mainly an initial experience of passion and attraction, and we strive to build a much more meaningful foundation of hope and trust on both with the passing of time.
We exercise a tremendous amount of understanding and forgiveness in our relationships, because we are aware that Today is not Yesterday in terms of those relationships. But, with the right care and handling, Today will certainly become a more enriched, far more fulfilling Tomorrow because we have been able to love unconditionally.
We do everything we can to stay “in love” by continuing to be the individuals we were at the start of these relationships.
In other words, she still makes an effort to dress “for him” when they go out to dinner. He still serves breakfast in bed “for her” the way he used to do when they were engaged.
They continue to romance each other and be attentive to each other’s needs, even when the dishes aren’t done or the lawn hasn’t been mowed. They essentially look for ways in the midst of everyday living to celebrate their love for one another …to literally keep their love for one another alive.
This may not be possible all the time, but enough of the time. Often enough, to let partners know that even when times are troubled or if circumstances aren’t quite what we’d like them to be, we are still very much “in love” in Spirit.
You can keep love alive in your relationships, but it’s up to you and your partner to make it happen.
Divinely speaking…there is nothing effortless about love. In fact, genuinely loving our Life Partners can be one of the toughest commitments we ever make in Life. But the rewards to be reaped are enormous when we are sincerely committed to investing enough time and effort …enough of ourSelves – into developing a loving bond that can truly last a Lifetime.
Today will bring you a new awareness, a lesson or a manifestation that you are making progress – IF YOU KNOW IT! No matter how large or small, please recognize it and be Grateful. Hey…It only takes a moment to pick up the penny… and will AUTOMATICALLY put you in the Flow of Positive Energy and Goodness.
To New Beginnings Together!
Are You Ready To Celebrate Life…and BE the Best that YOU can BE?
I NOW invite YOU to Celebrate LIFE…Let’s Talk …with Your 30 minute complimentary Consultation!
To Our Health, Well-BEING, and Empowerment Together!
Much Love & GOD’s Blessings!
Rhonda
PS: Remember if you don’t do anything – if you don’t change the way
your mind works and direct your subconscious mind to create the
life you want – everything stays the same – nothing changes. This
is your life – make the most of it…NOW!
your mind works and direct your subconscious mind to create the
life you want – everything stays the same – nothing changes. This
is your life – make the most of it…NOW!
“There is a mighty Power within you. There is that Spirit of Life, Light, and Love. The more you feast on these ideas and fast from old corrosive ones, the closer you experience the Life you desire.” -Frank Richelieu, The Art of Being Yourself
Rhonda Maria Farrah, MA, DRWA
The Wellness Institute International
949.527.1574
Licensed Teacher
The Art of Feminine Presence™
Author of the Forthcoming Book
How To Forgive, Live & LOVE During The Process of Divorce…
A Journey In Healing & Transformation
Speak Up, The World Is Listening