Leaving a Legacy of Self Worth

Recently a friend shared an article entitled “When Your Mother Says She’s Fat.

And I started to think about the power of our words, especially the words our children hear us say about ourselves.

What if everything I said about myself became my daughter’s internal dialogue?

Self worth is our theme this month and at our Sunday’s services the work of social worker-researcher Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW has been referenced multiple times. It’s not surprising as she has devoted over a decade to studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness and shame.

Brene’s Ted Talk “The Power of Vulnerability” is one of the most watched talks on Ted.com. One of her major findings has been on my mind as we discuss the different facets of self worth.

“There was only one variable which separated the people who had a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. The people who had a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. That’s it.” ~Brene Brown

Worthiness was the only difference.

The more I take time to examine self worth and it’s ramifications the more I want to do all I can to instill it in my daughters. The conclusion I am coming to is that the most powerful variable we have control over as parents is to model self worth.

I want them to see their magnificence. I want them to know they are loved. I want them to know that who they are is the greatest gift they can give to the world.

I cried as I read “When Your Mother Says She’s Fat” because I saw my Mom struggle with self worth issues. It was so confusing because I saw her as the most beautiful, kind, loving, capable woman I had ever know. I couldn’t understand why she could be so upset with herself.

Let us honour and respect our bodies for what they do instead of despising them for how they appear. Focus on living healthy and active lives, let our weight fall where it may, and consign our body hatred in the past where it belongs. When I looked at that photo of you in the white bathing suit all those years ago, my innocent young eyes saw the truth. I saw unconditional love, beauty and wisdom. I saw my Mum.

It’s always a moment of clarity when I ask myself “what would I want for my daughters?”

I am leaving a legacy of self-worth.