February Being the LOVE month…with Valentine’s Day having just been celebrated…by
a large number of us…with chocolate covered strawberries, roses, Cupid’s arrow,
and those proverbial Hallmark wishes…Let’s Talk About Love!
talk about Truth…NOW! …’cause Love is in the air!
last week’s blog?…
When we love ourselves fully and unconditionally, we throw open the channels
between ourselves and the universe to give and receive love.
challenge that you’ve faced in your life?” I would unhesitatingly reply:
“In time past…To be myself.” To be oneself in all situations is often
an impossible job that calls for effort, courage and brutal honesty. But, to be
myself I need to know myself. And to know myself, I must Love myself.
Some may hate to describe themselves as self-loving because we have been told
that this is narcissistic. That there is an element of wantonness in admitting:
“I am a wonderful person and I Love myself”
Yourself: When I look into the
mirror, am I happy with whom I
see.? Do I ever allow my imperfections
to neutralize what is best in me.? Do I
accept myself without conditions?
Dale Carnegie, the
best-selling author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, tells
the story of a woman, Edith, who, as a child, used to be sensitive, shy and
overweight. She never went to parties, never had any fun and always felt that
she was different and undesirable.
Later, she married a man several years her senior. Her in-laws were all outgoing, poised and
confident people. But that did not
affect Edith’s shyness. She felt she was a failure and feared that if her
husband found out the truth, it would be the end of their marriage. So, Edith
put up a show of gaiety, while deep within unhappiness eroded her. One day, she
overheard her mother-in-law say, referring to the secret behind her children’s
poise and happiness: “No matter what happened, I always insisted on my
children being themselves.” Almost overnight Edith changed. She began a
search for herself, building on her strong points, accepting without apology
her weaker points.
Striving for authenticity in thought and action is the first mature step in
self-evolution. We feel alienated from others because we don’t show our real
selves for fear of rejection. The result is internal dissonance. We can connect
with our inner selves only when we peel off all masks. To accept the totality
of our being, we must become compassionate towards ourselves. Accepting our
negativity is an integral part of the human experience; we can then extend this
to others. This is true compassion.
The American philosopher, Emerson makes a valid point in his essay On
Self-reliance: “There is a time in every man’s education when he
arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide;
that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though
the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him
but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to
till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows
what that is which he can do, nor does
he know until he has tried.”
Ironically, we spend a major part of our lives with a begging bowl, pleading
for love from others. We believe that we will feel better if people love us.
But the love I want begins with me. I can experience real love only when I fill myself with love…and
am willing to give it to others. The more I give, the more I receive.
All our life’s experiences comprise an endless learning act. We merely need the
willingness. We must all learn to bypass the cacophony of the world to reach
into the silence of our soul. In order to love… in order to be happy… we must
learn to be present in each moment.
Don’t keep your happiness on hold.
Hey, Life is not a dress rehearsal.
Now is the only time we have.
work for them, all our material
dreams can be achieved. But if what we seek is something beyond,
something that endures within us, we must give priority to love and happiness.
We are willing to invest time and money in the pursuit of material gains. But,
we don’t do the same to establish love, happiness and peace of mind. If only
each of us could pray to alleviate the pain and suffering of others, we could
make that vital connection with the real us.
In his book Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav asks his readers not to pass
value judgment or censure anybody. If we do so, we in turn will be judged by
the universe and penalized accordingly. Judgments build walls between people,
create hostility. When negative thoughts intrude, break its flow by repeating
to yourself words such as love, joy and harmony. Words weave patterns in our
lives. Build up a vocabulary of words that have positive connotations.
Tomorrow really never comes. We have only today, maybe only this fleeting
minute. So let us be grateful for every moment that comes our way. Many
successful people began and ended their day by an act of gratitude. The
universe, God —call it what you will—has been magnanimous with us today.
So let us close our eyes, recall every happy moment that we have experienced,
and thank this power with all our heart. As gratitude and appreciation grow and
fill your life, you will learn how to sincerely love yourself for what you
There is not a single person in this universe who leads a problem-free life.
Yet we encounter people whose lives appear dynamic and joyous. What sets them
apart? The answer: they do not allow themselves to be immobilized by little
things. They respond to problems with ease, change things that can be changed
and accept those that can’t. In the process, they come closer to the wisdom of
Contemporary wisdom would have us believe that packing each day with things
that need to be done is the secret of success. But Life isn’t all about getting
things done as much as it is about enjoying each step along the way. Many a
marital discord erupts from couples’ obsession with getting everything done in
record time and to perfection. If, on the other hand, I ask myself each night:
“Has my Life made a little bit of difference to at least one person?”
and hear a resounding “Yes!” in reply, all the things I haven’t
managed to do over the day would not matter at all.
that with YourSelf. The strength of all your other relationships is exactly
equal to the strength of that foundation. To love YourSelf is not just a
self-esteem boosting piece of advice. It is the prerequisite to truly loving
others. The Golden Rule tells us to, “love your neighbour as you love yourself”.
You are likely to have heard it many times, expressed in different ways,
thinking it is about loving others. Look a little closer though, and you will
find that at its very centre is the command to love yourself.
the Real Self Love Please Stand Up?
yourself is to be in awe of the miracle of your existence. It is to accept
yourself as you are – the “light” parts and the “dark”, the
“good” and the “bad” – while knowing that the real you is
above the perceived dualities of the physical realm. It is to be willing to
receive as much as you are willing to give and do both equally. It is about
knowing your values and your boundaries and honouring them. It is about
teaching others how to treat you by showing them how you treat yourself. It is
about being kind to yourself. It is about looking after your mind, your body
and your Spirit; all three. It is about knowing you are worth it, not because
of what you have achieved or what you look like or what others think of you,
but because Love
is your birthright no matter what.
that Spirit of Life, Light, and Love. The more you feast on these ideas and
fast from old corrosive ones, the closer you experience the Life you