What it means to come home to myself.
My pilgrimage started the moment I decided to walk. It started as a beautiful idea of walking the Camino in Spain as part of my sabbatical. I knew that that this would be a powerful journey. I knew it would ask a lot of me. I knew it would give so much more in return.
My purpose was clear: to experience a closer walk with God, a deep dive into that most essential relationship where everything begins and where everything ends.
What I didn’t know is that I would have to give up everything that stood in the way of that most essential relationship. All the walls that I have built over a lifetime to protect my tender heart, every brick that I put in place to defend that interior castle where God and I are one have begun to loosen.
Let me tell you, I did not expect this, and yet I’m certain something in me has called it forward.
My mind knows at the core of my being, I need no protection. And yet my heart quivers in fear, afraid to let go, afraid of the feelings buried deep so long ago, when I believed I was separate, when I believed that I was alone, when I believed I was unloved. I know this isn’t true yet my ego keeps stacking up “evidence” to its reality.
I find myself just a little over a month from beginning my walk at some level unwilling. Unwilling to let go, unwilling to stand unprotected, unwilling to let my guard down for fear that I will be annihilated.
They’re all lining up to be dissolved… mother issues, security issues, trust issues… old friends whom I thought had departed long ago, competing for my attention like hungry baby birds, mouths open wide “feed me”.
I want to ignore them, to hide, to defend myself against this deep discomfort; but that’s not how this works… this business of healing and revealing requires love and attention.
And the only thing that satiates it is self-love and surrender.
“Get ready, my soul, I’m diving in.” Daniel Nahmod
You can experience your own pilgrimage Sunday, August 16, 2026 after the Sunday service: The Interior Camino – A Pilgrimage for the Practical Mystic.
