In her book, You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay states that the most common false belief is that we are not good enough. She asks the readers to relax and think about the negative messages we got from our parents. Make a list to identify them. She goes on to broaden the list to include negative messages that were given to us by our teachers, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, school, and church.
Sometimes it was not a direct message of “you are not good enough” or capable or talented. I can’t remember either Mom or Dad, in my formative years saying anything like that to me. They did not belittle us. If anything their message was silently “Don’t let us down.” “Don’t do something that would embarrass us or bring us shame.
What I do vividly remember was what my mom would say about herself. She did this on many occasions. As she was getting ready to go out and putting a dash of lipstick on her lips or powder on her nose, she would look into the mirror and say with disgust and resignation, “Well, you can’t make a sow’s ear into a silk purse.” At first I didn’t understand the statement. I just knew that it meant something really negative about herself.
When I was a very small child, the neighbors would call me “Little Lela” — my mother’s name. So inadvertently, without any malicious intent, she was teaching me to dislike what I looked like; to feel that I was not good enough.
One of the points Louise makes in her book, is that we cannot blame our parents for our present thoughts and beliefs. The original thought may have come from the authority figures in our lives, but a belief is only a thought and a thought can be changed. But it can only be changed by the thinker — me or you.
We are to notice when we are blaming our current thoughts on a person long gone.
The point of power is in the present moment. Go to a mirror and look deep unto your own eyes. See the beauty of the innocent child you were and the truth of the adult you are now today. Now tell yourself that you approve of yourself.
Say it two ways: Your name, I approve of you. Then say, I approve of myself. Say it 200 times every day. For example. “Heather, I approve of you.” Then, “I approve of myself.”
It is a way to un-clutter your mind from false beliefs. You do not have to struggle. You do not have to procrastinate. Think of it as cleaning out the trash or the fridge. Do it now. You will be so happy you did. You can turn those negative false beliefs into something beautiful, new and creative. You CAN MAKE A SOW’S EAR INTO A SILK PURSE. That is if you want to make it into a silk purse. Or you might just awaken to realize your unique beauty even if it is a sow’s ear.
|December 31, 2015
Sister Kathy, my niece Heather , Mom and me
The Clark Silk Purses